Poet's Corner

classic Classic list List threaded Threaded
293 messages Options
1 ... 1112131415
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
This post was updated on .
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
call me dave or call me prat
I can do what I want, swivel on that
if remain wins I have a plan
I'll grow a beard and get a tan
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
call me dave or call me prat
I can do what I want, swivel on that
if remain wins I have a plan
I'll grow a beard and get a tan
But what if Brexit does the bizz
He won't wanna sip the fizz
Perhaps the scallywag has plan B
Guess we'll have to wait'n see
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
call me dave or call me prat
I can do what I want, swivel on that
if remain wins I have a plan
I'll grow a beard and get a tan
But what if Brexit does the bizz
He won't wanna sip the fizz
Perhaps the scallywag has plan B
Guess we'll have to wait'n see
plan B is set it's behind the clock
the result was wrong and need to block
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
call me dave or call me prat
I can do what I want, swivel on that
if remain wins I have a plan
I'll grow a beard and get a tan
But what if Brexit does the bizz
He won't wanna sip the fizz
Perhaps the scallywag has plan B
Guess we'll have to wait'n see
plan B is set it's behind the clock
the result was wrong and need to block
We cannot trust Dodgy Dave
How's his face he gonna save
Some little lie hid up his sleave
Should the voters say we leave
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
call me dave or call me prat
I can do what I want, swivel on that
if remain wins I have a plan
I'll grow a beard and get a tan
But what if Brexit does the bizz
He won't wanna sip the fizz
Perhaps the scallywag has plan B
Guess we'll have to wait'n see
plan B is set it's behind the clock
the result was wrong and need to block
We cannot trust Dodgy Dave
How's his face he gonna save
Some little lie hid up his sleave
Should the voters say we leave
we can't be trusted with a vote
let down the drawbridge fill the moat
all-comers welcome open arms
fill our factories fill our farms
us lazy brits can watch and stare
thankyou Cameron fuck you blair
 
 
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
call me dave or call me prat
I can do what I want, swivel on that
if remain wins I have a plan
I'll grow a beard and get a tan
But what if Brexit does the bizz
He won't wanna sip the fizz
Perhaps the scallywag has plan B
Guess we'll have to wait'n see
plan B is set it's behind the clock
the result was wrong and need to block
We cannot trust Dodgy Dave
How's his face he gonna save
Some little lie hid up his sleave
Should the voters say we leave
we can't be trusted with a vote
let down the drawbridge fill the moat
all-comers welcome open arms
fill our factories fill our farms
us lazy brits can watch and stare
thankyou Cameron fuck you blair
The time has come to flecks our muscles
Or remain the prisoners of Brussels
Tomorrow is the twenty third
Charge to the stations let your voice be heard
May Friday be Independence day
Break the chains is what I say
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
call me dave or call me prat
I can do what I want, swivel on that
if remain wins I have a plan
I'll grow a beard and get a tan
But what if Brexit does the bizz
He won't wanna sip the fizz
Perhaps the scallywag has plan B
Guess we'll have to wait'n see
plan B is set it's behind the clock
the result was wrong and need to block
We cannot trust Dodgy Dave
How's his face he gonna save
Some little lie hid up his sleave
Should the voters say we leave
we can't be trusted with a vote
let down the drawbridge fill the moat
all-comers welcome open arms
fill our factories fill our farms
us lazy brits can watch and stare
thankyou Cameron fuck you blair
The time has come to flecks our muscles
Or remain the prisoners of Brussels
Tomorrow is the twenty third
Charge to the stations let your voice be heard
May Friday be Independence day
Break the chains is what I say
has anyone thought what we'll do
we're only British we haven't a clue
we can't be trusted on our own
a sorry lot without backbone
so lost without you, we'll go astray
please kind Germans show the way
that big bad world is a big black hole
they'll gobble us up and eat us whole




 
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
 
The sentiment has gone
though the memories linger on
on exit we will say
we'll no longer have to pay
Cameron in retreat
Trampled on by stamping feet
Englishmen's homes were once their castles
not given away by a pair of arseholes
Nice rhyming makes me smile
Such response it comes in style
spare a thought for those poor remainers
for sponsorships lost 'n' shrunken retainers
leave eases now in the polls and the betting
unelected and lobbyist get ready for bloodletting
Dishonest Dave is scheming
The electorate he's demeaning
Conjuring more dirty tricks
The referendum he'll try to fix
call me dave or call me prat
I can do what I want, swivel on that
if remain wins I have a plan
I'll grow a beard and get a tan
But what if Brexit does the bizz
He won't wanna sip the fizz
Perhaps the scallywag has plan B
Guess we'll have to wait'n see
plan B is set it's behind the clock
the result was wrong and need to block
We cannot trust Dodgy Dave
How's his face he gonna save
Some little lie hid up his sleave
Should the voters say we leave
we can't be trusted with a vote
let down the drawbridge fill the moat
all-comers welcome open arms
fill our factories fill our farms
us lazy brits can watch and stare
thankyou Cameron fuck you blair
The time has come to flecks our muscles
Or remain the prisoners of Brussels
Tomorrow is the twenty third
Charge to the stations let your voice be heard
May Friday be Independence day
Break the chains is what I say
has anyone thought what we'll do
we're only British we haven't a clue
we can't be trusted on our own
a sorry lot without backbone
so lost without you, we'll go astray
please kind Germans show the way
that big bad world is a big black hole
they'll gobble us up and eat us whole  
Europe will bend and kiss our bum
The Crouts and Frogs mewing yum yum yum
They can't do without us they know that
The game is on and it's our turn to bat
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
This post was updated on .
In reply to this post by bellend
Dancing lessons   the wife and me   we tripped the light fandango
We learned to jive  and do the twist   but never learned to tango
We hit the floor   amidst the crowd    with moves that did impress
Been up all night   the one before  sewing sequins on me vest
The band struck up  the time had come  the pride before the fall
I swung her round   she hit the ground   what pain to see her sprawl
Enthusiasm waning   energy draining   back to the floor once more
Trousers so tight   in the spot light  the place so soon in up roar
I began to slip     then felt a rip     with an unstitching  at the back
Then all too soon    I started to moon   and clearly defined the crack
Not daunted by this    tiny remiss    the last waltz now to be played
I reluctantly agreed    to do the deed   completing the ghastly charade
No never again   I cried in vane   the lessons I’d learned were wasted
It’s not for me     can’t you see     the humiliation I have tasted

If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
some in the Vatican     really don't like   the way we conduct our affairs
a strong aromatic in     the appetite         for an answer to their prayers
a change in the pace    the e u runs         is not for their taste you see
so sorry your grace    we aint the ones    claiming for an old olive tree
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
This post was updated on .
one night at the hurlingham club ball
whilst doing the machiavelian jive
hushed whispers enveloped the hall
and the fate of the country contrived
backs to the wall cried the bullingdon crowd
but not like the old school days
the gloom descended as a shroud
as the deed was done in the haze
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

bellend
a lord is a lord is lord for life
although the dishonour is rife
with theft 'n' fraud 'n' perjury  
or whatever the shame shall be
the powerful lie so unopposed
when democracy is so imposed
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

OLD CODGER
Somme.

We gave our lives upon the Somme
For reasons I cannot Fathom
We advanced in many straight lines
To leave behind so many
You celebrate 100 years for us so many  
Who did not come back to Blighty.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
Over the top from a soaking trench
Treading on bodies inhaling a stench
Shells whistling by in a life and death race
A young soldier nearby loses his face
Each knowing hell trudging through mud
Splashing on through cruel puddles of blood....
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
This post was updated on .
It's one month to Christmas Eve
Santa's polishing Rudolph's nose
Shopping is a shove and a heave
We had better get on our toes
All those cards must be written
And secret prezzies hidden away
A little girl pleads for a kitten
Mummy doesn't know what to say
Although it's still November
The stores are filled with toys
There's so much to remember
Like a football for little boys
Don't forget the tot of whisky
For the red faced man with the beard
Or it could be rather risky
Passed by is something to be feared.


Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
Reply | Threaded
Open this post in threaded view
|

Re: Poet's Corner

Ho-Hum
I'll defrost the sausage Christmas Day
The treat that I've been saving
Along with a potato I've put away
That my belly's desperately craving
With 1 carrot I'll spoil myself rotten
Boiling the feast up in a pot
I'm not going to be forgotten
Even though this is my sad lot
Pulling a cracker won't be much fun
Then donning a pink paper hat
After the wicked deed is done
Too much grub only makes one fat
I've posted a card to myself
Sending cheerful seasons greetings
Who needs the filthy pelf
When I have self-pitying bleatings.


Merry Christmas.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
1 ... 1112131415