Christmas Chuckles

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
That joke recalls the John Prescott story from the not-so-distant past.......

TWO Shags John Prescott has a manhood the size of a COCKTAIL SAUSAGE, says ex-lover Tracey Temple.
The lardy Deputy Prime Minister might have the body of a saveloy but in the department where it matters he is a chipolata, she recorded in her diaries.
Tracey, 43, revealed at the weekend that Prescott, 67, gave a four-times-a-night performance.
But it seems that things weren’t always up to scratch ? and he once had to resort to the love drug Viagra after “an unsuccessful attempt at sex”.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Lies, lies, it's damned lies; next she'll be saying I'm a sexual predator.



And bloody Merry Christmas to you too.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by Michael Towner
In fact, John Prescott should have been MP for Littlehampton - and that's almost original!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
lol
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
I've sussed you out HH. You're making deliberate errors of grammar and orthography to see who'll notice. As in "dammed" which should be "damned". Nice try!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
stop with these little willy jokes, connie is very upset.
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by Michael Towner
Very quick, HH - you'll be dammed at this rate!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
In reply to this post by Michael Towner
I changed it immediately so crits don't count see.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
(Q) What is Prescott's missus cooking for Christmas dins?

(A) WEENIES!
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
Prescott mrs said "john might only have a small cock...but he can lick the crumbs from the bottom of a Pringles Tube"...
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
S'pose it's the way you use it BUT how would I know?
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
I believe it. You're an educated man who occasionally poses otherwise when you fancy some street-cred!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Spot on Michael, I studded at the Romford Market School of Speech and Drama.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
In reply to this post by Michael Towner
I took my son to see Santa today, but as soon as he sat on his knee he started crying. "What's wrong?" I asked. "It's this job mate, I fucking hate it."
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
I've been Santa a few times at Church Bazaars AND it's always the mums who want to sit on your knee for a photo BUT I was always obliging and never cried.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
You also have a sense of self-deprecating humour! I bet you liked English at school - not long ago, you posted "In The Bleak Mid-Winter" complete with indented lines. Those words obviously mean a lot to you. I like them too. What about one of my favourites from my school days - "The Lady Of Shalott"? One of the most beautiful poems in the English language.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
In my youth I was a closet poet because all my friends were tearaways.

I read every poet going starting with John Clare and Oliver Goldsmith, graduating to Ezra Pound, Gerard Manley Hopkins and so on BUT that was over 50 years ago.

The title of Poet Lauri@ however, on this site, belongs to bellend.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
Dirty old sod!
I bet you used to say come on mummies sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
Hold on!
Isn't a certain local MP still in the closet?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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