Christmas Chuckles

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Actually Michael, I copied it from somebody else's efforts...I don't make grammatical mystakes.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
bellend pointed that out earlier, HH, and I responded! I think I said you were obviously a gentleman of deep and wide erudition........
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Never buy Russian baked pastry at yuletide ....

...it might be a minced spy.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

fred
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
Why doesn’t Santa’s wife fart?
She doesn’t stop talking long enough to build up pressure.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Not heard that one before Fred.  I'll ask Santa if it's true.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by fred
I thought Santa was a bachelor, fred, so I learn a new fact every day on this site!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

You may find his wife died some time ago and since then he has been cohabiting with his elves.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
God elves those who elf themselves.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

fred
In reply to this post by Michael Towner
I was walking past a group of school kids when I overheard it,made me laugh as they was about 13.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
as i answered the front door dressed in high heals, stockings & suspenders, leather mini skirt and bright red lipstick I bought the mrs for chirstmas,'or so she thought'  the avon lady asked "hello sir, is your wife at home"? to which i replied "take a wild guess love!"
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
(Q) How will Christmas dinner be different after Brexit?

(A) No Brussels.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Last Christmas Paddy caught his Wife having an affair and decided to kill her and himself.

He puts the gun to his head, looks at his Wife and says, "Don't laugh, your next."
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

fred
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
Labour voters in panic as London turns white.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
Oh yes! Like the IRA man who volunteered to do a suicide-bomb job for Hamas in the Middle-East. He bought a return plane ticket.

PS - shouldn't that be "you're next" Ho Hum?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
(Q) Mum, can I please have a cat for Christmas?

(A) You’ll have turkey just like the rest of us.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
Make sure you buy your Christmas veg early as fruit and veg growers are planning a strike.
They are all looking for higher celeries!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
bought some lights today...girl behind the counter says "are you going to put them up yourself? i said "no they're going on the tree"
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
Another one I hope doesn't get censured.
Jewish Father Christmas comes down the chimney and two kids wake up in disbelief.
He sees the kids and says "Hello kiddies wanna buy some toys".
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Q: What's a good Christmas tip?

A: Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
1 for the ladies


to all men who say "why buy a cow when you can get milk for free"

modern day women are saying "it's not worth buying an entire pig for just one little sausage"

don't you just hate these women that put their heads above the sink.
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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