Christmas Chuckles

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

fred
How do you know that women are stronger than men?

Try getting the duvet back from the wife in the middle of the night.

You just know it’s true

Merry Christmas to all on this forum,have a good one.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
You couldn't make this one up!
The usual no expense spared Havering entertainment in Romford market square but the lowlight or sorry highlight is the crooked house just behind some tent full of tinsel and bugger all else with a banner saying supported by Havering council.
I understand next year they're moving this highlight of the years festivities to the town hall car park to save on the crooked house.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

fred
Nice,like the humour.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
In reply to this post by dalek1
Been to the Christingle
Now I'm out for a drink
A little festive mingle
Glass raising to a chink
Many ol' mates are dead
Not like it used to be
S'pose I could go to bed
But then who would I see
Be a lot of pushing around
Hope I can find a seat
Lift boots off the ground
Resting my corny feet.


Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
I've opened all my Christmas prezzies...now I'm going to open a sock shop.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
This post was updated on .
Not short of socks by any means but many moons ago Mummy D1 put it around that I was short of underpants and ended up with 25 pairs.
Don't tell me no one bought you a nice bottle of Chardonnay or at least a box of hankies.
Well if its any consolation I didn't get any of those either.
And the bleedin' dog got more than me.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
In reply to this post by fred
Never a truer word spoken in jest Fred.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

fred
Did you watch The Lane?Bit emotional some of that and that’s from an old hard bitten Millwall supporter.
Got a couple of decent bottles,Barolo and a good Malbec,could be a bit dysfunctional later
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
Oh I can't get too dysfunctional Fred Mrs and Little Miss D1 have buggered off out for a few hours leaving yours truly to do the dinner.
And Little Miss D1 bombed downstairs this morning to look out the back to see if Santa had been and noticed the glass of milk had been drunk and the carrots and reindeer food had gone and then the pile of pressies under the tree.
I'd hate to tell her the carrots and reindeer food are now in my compost bin.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

Why did the Strawberry need a lawyer?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

Why is 5 nervous of 6?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

Why was Cinderella no good at football?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

That's it, I've got you all confused haven't I?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

fred
In reply to this post by confused of hornchurch
Talking of football,why ain’t Pakis any good at it?

A.Every time they get a corner they open a shop.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

I'm damned if I know.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

You're not supposed to give me the answer.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch
In reply to this post by fred

Ok Fred, if you're into football I'll tell you the Cinderella answer.

Because her coach was a pumpkin.  Boom boom.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

fred
More years than I care to remember,lucky enough to play at a decent standard,then managed for a couple of years before becoming a secretary at a decent standard,have some great memories topped by shaking gods(Peles)hand at Wembley along with Gordon Banks only person missing was the late great Bobby Moore,but I’m old enough to have had the privilege of seeing him in the flesh at Upton Park,of the defenders i’ve watched live only Der Feurer and Franco Baresi compare,Paulo Maldini was as good,but he was predominantly a left back.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
The only reason I got into the 2nd eleven was because I'm naturally left-footed. Then I found my true position in rugby in the back row, sorting people's teeth out. Sent off five times before I was 30 and well deserved in each case. The piss-ups after rugby games are so much better than football - stupid songs, drinking games, riotous behaviour, puking-up macho nonsense. I still miss them.
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