Christmas Chuckles

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
You might want to shove it up...............................(fill the details in yourself)
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Christmas cheer.  May all our disputes end cheerfully AND may I always be right.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
Thank you very much Mr Brian Clough.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
Christmas cheer to you as well Hummy.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
                           Even Santa has to pee.

Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
Just opened door twentytwelvety on my dianne abbott advent calendar
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
My wife and I have both got new irons for Christmas. I can knock a golf ball over two hundred yards with mine, and hopefully she can knock a pile of ironing off in an hour or so with hers and have my tea ready for when I get home.
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
(Q) What did the child say when Santa broke wind?

(A) Hello Farter Christmas.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
One more sleep until the real men start shopping.
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
Just had my car cleaned inside and out by these 'Organic' cleaners. When I collected the car, I asked 'How green was my valet?'
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
Westham should win today against Newcastle as their results have been terrible, but look who they have played last four games, chelsky, leicester, everton, arsegooners.  
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by bellend
Now that is a cracker! "How green was my valet!!"
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
My altruistic nature is flourishing this festive season and I've decided to donate my only Christmas present to the homeless....I've already got a draw full of socks anyway.  
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
Little Miss D1's Christmas list so far.
A Hoverboard cost £400.
Two return tickets to LA and open tickets to all the theme parks cost £5'000.
Two return tickets to NY and open ended account at the Woodbury outlet centre cost £5'000 at least.
State of the art Apple Mac cost £1'500.
Wall mounted tv with voice activation cost £1'000.
If she got all this she'd open them up and say is that it?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
For some reason, I used to find a couple of tangerines, a bag of brazil nuts and those chocolate coins wrapped in foil in my stocking. I couldn't work out what Santa was trying to tell me.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
Ann Summers store in Romford have an early pre Christmas sale of hosiery.
Hurry and buy now while STOCKINGS last!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
 My mum always gave me a stocking full of goodies as a child BUT for a long time I thought she only had one leg.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
An itinerant door-to-door seller knocked on the front door of a terraced house in Moss Side on Christmas Eve. A small boy answered and shouted "Dad, there's a man at the door with a baldy head". His Dad called back "Tell him to piss off - I've got one already!"

Merry Christmas to all posters and readers - have a good one!
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

Merry Christmas to you too Michael and to all the rest of the forum posters and admin.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
yes merry Christmas I suppose bah humbug, you moany lot
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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