Christmas Chuckles

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Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Parliament's Politically Correct watchdog have taken Santa to task, stating the portly white bearded gentleman should not land his sleigh on roof tops after supping whiskey left out for him, claiming Elves 'N' Safety issues.

Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
Don't give up the day job, old boy! (Only joking).
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
my kids keep on taking the piss out my alzheimers. wait till the cheeky little buggers wake up on christmas morning and find no eggs under the bonfire
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

confused of hornchurch

I reckon the tooth fairy has stolen them.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Question: What did Adam say to his wife on the day before Christmas?

Answer: It's Christmas, Eve!
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
Got it! You're the person who writes the jokes that go into Christmas crackers.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
christmas must be close, i've just seen my first cadbury creme egg.
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
True bellend.  You can always tell when it's Christmas...Easter cards are in the shops.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
don't leave christmas preparations until the last moment. start getting depressed now.
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

dalek1
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
Aren't the 2018 fireworks on sale yet?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Yes D1 BUT currently sold as Christmas 'crackers'.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
In reply to this post by bellend
how many software developers does it take put up a Christmas tree? none. it's a hardware problem.
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
(Q) What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

(A) Claustrophobic.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
(Q) What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen?

(A) Snowballs.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
Christmas question - what gender is Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer and how can you tell?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Surely Rudolf The Red Nose Reindeer is male, if female she would be Rudolfina, right?
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

bellend
In reply to this post by Michael Towner
is it male coz he's got a willy?
If we learn from our mistakes, why aint I a genius, If you educate the masses where's the advantage for the few?

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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Michael Towner
Banned User
In reply to this post by Ho-Hum
That's what I thought Ho Hum, but Rudolf must be female because male reindeer shed their antlers well before Christmas time, whereas females retain their antlers until spring. And the majority of Rudolf images show an animal with antlers. Interesting, eh?
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
Yes interesting BUT sad too, imagine not having the horn over the festive period.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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Re: Christmas Chuckles

Ho-Hum
(Q) What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?

(A) RUDEolph.
Refugees do not have the right to demand but should accept the blessings bestowed upon them gracefully by nations extending the hand of friendship.
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